I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
Randomize
