There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
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tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
I miss vodka workout Fridays
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
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omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
i am craving dick and cupcakes
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
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