my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
no, he came in my armpit
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
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