"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
Randomize
