If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
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