I bet he comes in French.
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
He told me i was the nicest person he's ever arrested for DUI
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
