I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
Randomize
