Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
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