what if every blade of grass was a penis?
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
my god I love twenty year old dicks
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
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