I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
Randomize
