For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
Randomize
