So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
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