guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
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