it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
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