he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
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