That cute girl I hooked up with last night clawed my back to hell and gave me a hickey. I look like a white trash warewolf victim
I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
Randomize
