He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
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