Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
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