That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
If you're receiving this text it's probably because I drunkenly flashed you on Saturday. Sorry for forcing you to look at my tits. That was uncalled for.
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
Never joke about your clitoris.
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
Randomize
