Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
Randomize
