Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
Randomize
