Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
Randomize
