yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
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