I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
Randomize
