I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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