My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
Randomize
