Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
Randomize
