Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
Randomize
