at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
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