Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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