So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
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Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
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And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
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