I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
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