He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
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