entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
Randomize