I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
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