im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
I love having hate sex.
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
Randomize
