Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
PS: I just woke up from my shower
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
There are leaves in my underwear?
Randomize
