My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize
