I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
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