It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
Randomize
