sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
Randomize
