talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
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