so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
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walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
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Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
Btw I puked in your glovebox
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