Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
Randomize
