So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
Randomize
