I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Randomize
