I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Randomize
