Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
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