The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
Randomize
