we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
It's really funny to see the look on the sales lady's face when she asks why you're replacing a painting. "I knocked it off the wall during sex w/ my heels," wasn't what she expected.
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
