She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
Randomize
