1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
Kristen just told everyone at the bar that I've got a huge dick, now Brittany is giving me the eye. What is the opposite of FML?
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
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