Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
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