I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
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