I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
highlight of my day: hitchhiking a ride with random locals. tried to make conversation, asked what they do. driver says "you clearly don't recognize me." turns out i have had sex with him and forgot.
You are officially qualified to graduate from college.
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
Randomize