Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
my poor anus
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
Randomize
