Are we in a gay sports bar?
i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
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