I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
Rumble strips road head = magical
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
Randomize
