is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
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