Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
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